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Writing

When You Can’t Get a Do-over and You Can’t Get Over It

Photo by Ashton Bingham on Unsplash Turning disappointment into the story you’ll want to live When a toddler squeals, Do it again!, she’s joyfully learning through repetition. When she’s six years old and yells, Do-over!, she either wants to prove that she can do what she wasn’t able to demonstrate moments before, or to argue that the […]

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Writing

What We Will Do To Belong

Photo by Jovi Waqa on Unsplash Status, Salvation, and Swastikas: Indoctrination is a group thing I finally found the magazine Annette gave me last month. Annette is one of seven Clemson “sisters” I met through a professional women’s organization in 1989. All eight of us were plenty busy running businesses, careers and families, but we made the […]

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Writing

The Cancer of Privileged Expectations

Photo by Pixabay How to kill delusions of getting our way while keeping hope alive “Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect.” — Margaret Mitchell Everyone has their blind spots. Blame nature, nurture, hard-to-break habits. One of my weaknesses is that I conflate hope and expectation. Just because I really want something and work hard to […]

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Writing

The Blur Between Being Friendly and Being a Friend

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash Ellen’s coming out about George started something worth wrestling with The word friend has become really fuzzy. Way before Ellen’s video about being friends with George W. Bush. Yet, strangely, all the social media backlash has brought two questions into focus: What is a friend versus being friendly? Must we […]

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Writing

Lorde Help Us

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash Brandt Jean’s call for forgiveness set off a few alarms. We should listen. Consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit.” — Audre Lorde Brandt Jean, brother of 26-year-old Botham Jean who was shot dead in his own apartment, extended nothing less than amazing grace to […]

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Writing

Looking Back to a Kinder Future

Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels Vonnegut gave us more than an anti-war book; he gave us safe passage to our former selves It didn’t work out well for Lot’s wife. As you might recall, she was warned not to look back at the Almighty’s wrath. “But she did look back, and I love her for that, […]

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Writing

What if We Faced the Facts? I Am Part of this Cult and So Are You

Photo by Jhonis Martins from Pexels David Brooks’s Five Lies can empower us, one truth at a time Before I’d finished reading Five Lies Our Culture Tells, I wanted to send it to everyone I know. David Brooks had clearly articulated my reasons for leaving a profession I’d worked so hard to join. (The article summarizes […]

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Writing

Intersectionality: It’s Going to Get Harder Before It Gets Better

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels One muppet on the street taught us empathy; surely we can learn the crossroads One of my first teachers of empathy was a young amphibian on Sesame Street, a vulnerable companion sharing his lonely greenness. Like millions of kids in 1969, I related to and felt my heart swell with love […]

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Writing

Is There a Problem If I Can’t Stay Put?

Photo by Kelvin Mah on Unsplash After 25 moves and six states, it’s time to find out My household moves are hardly Ripley’s worthy, but given the average American moves 11-12 times over their entire lifespan, should I be concerned? According to the Social Security Administration, I have 25 more years to move. Biologically. If the government […]

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Writing

Getting Ourselves Back to the Garden

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels even if we missed it the first time I’d love to tell you I was at Yasgur’s Farm in August 1969, but I was 10, surrounded by soybeans and corn in downstate Illinois. Ten years later, my future husband would introduce me to Woodstock’s creative tillers: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Hendrix, […]