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Writing

Why Meditating on Our Mortality Makes Us More Alive

Photo by Laura Vinck on Unsplash We access more light when we don’t deny darkness Forget causality. Forget deserved. Forget sin and karma. I mean, if we really want to pick any of those back up — we can do that. But for now, let’s just imagine not asking ourselves why bad things happen to people. Especially the good […]

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Writing

When You Can’t Get a Do-over and You Can’t Get Over It

Photo by Ashton Bingham on Unsplash Turning disappointment into the story you’ll want to live When a toddler squeals, Do it again!, she’s joyfully learning through repetition. When she’s six years old and yells, Do-over!, she either wants to prove that she can do what she wasn’t able to demonstrate moments before, or to argue that the […]

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Writing

The Cancer of Privileged Expectations

Photo by Pixabay How to kill delusions of getting our way while keeping hope alive “Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect.” — Margaret Mitchell Everyone has their blind spots. Blame nature, nurture, hard-to-break habits. One of my weaknesses is that I conflate hope and expectation. Just because I really want something and work hard to […]

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Writing

Just Because You’re Related Doesn’t Mean You Can Relate

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash Should you keep trying? Between the facts of shared DNA, cultural expectations, and the ecstatic families portrayed on social media lies a fiction. It goes something like this: Being related means that we can relate to family members in ways we can’t with those outside the family. Although we know […]

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Writing

Deconstructing The Work You Don’t Have To Do

Photo by Stanislav Kondratiev on Upsplash Just before Christmas, I asked a friend if she could push our lunch back 30 minutes so I could finish writing some recommendation letters. Over lunch, we talked about how we imagine “boundaries” of work, volunteering, family and personal life. Less a bitch-and-moan session than trying to figure it out. […]

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Writing

It’s Been a Week: Science and Art Are Telling You to Lighten Up

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash Resolutions have a dismal success rate: a quarter fail by mid-January and less than 10 percent are deemed successful by year’s end. The problem isn’t that we’re lazy or that winter is a lousy time to punish ourselves (although getting up at 6 a.m. to run in 20-degree weather isn’t […]